a moment of silence at the playground

I was at the park with my girl Cora talking with another parent. It was a brilliant day, cripsy with snow but warm in that way that New Mexico at midday in January can be. We were in good spirits, our talk bubbling with passion and humor while the kids played. We covered politics and parenting, restoration efforts on our local river, and, you know, Everything Else.

And then I blithely mentioned the gyres, the “patches” of floating plastic that are like loosely formed continents in all the world’s seas. My friend hadn’t heard about them before. He grew quiet. So did I. A moment of silence at the playground for the world’s oceans.

I remembered how I felt when I first learned about the Great Pacific Garbage Patch and others like it: Horrified. Overwhelmed. Helpless. Sick. It is a tremendous realization, that one, on par with understanding that we are in the midst of the Sixth Great Extinction, that climate change will not be reversed (sorry, the supreme court has me down), that we have caused irreparable damage on a scale we still don’t fully understand.

“Makes you realize that there’s so little we can do,” my friend said at last. I nodded. I’m no stranger to that feeling. For years I didn’t really do much at all because of how vast the problems seemed and how small I felt. So in addition to doing nothing beyond the small things I felt were enough–the convenient, affordable, and not requiring any compromise things like recycling, changing light bulbs, and hanging clothes on the line–I did one rather unsurprising thing.

I turned away from the suffering of the world. I turned away from my fear. I accepted that my smallness was valid, and let it hamper not only my thoughts but my actions. I blamed the government for its lack of will. I blamed the corporations for their insane greed. I blamed my fellow citizens for being what our culture has made us. So long as I maintained the story that I was helpless and passive, I felt safe from the blame.

I mean, I’ve known about the gyres for years. Years! When did I decide to do something about it? Three months ago. Will what I’m doing make a difference? Probably not. All along I’ve called our choice to learn to live with less plastic a symbolic action. An act of solidarity with the ocean. With the fish and turtles and birds. With the world’s poor who simply don’t have the choice to over-consume. With my grandchildren. It’s all of those things, but most of all it’s the best way we could think of to break out of our cycle of inaction, our belief that because there’s so little we could do, we didn’t really need to do anything.

It doesn’t matter, ultimately, if this small step can heal the oceans. What matters is our attempt to live in a way that is conducive rather than obstructive to that healing.

So I nodded understandingly to my friend. “There aren’t any easy solutions,” I said. “Just lot’s of good places to start.”

::

To learn more about the gyres, and find out what you can do, visit 5 Gyres or Rise Above Plastics, read an article or two, or check out the documentary Addicted to Plastic.

This Week’s Recipe Brought to You By

the snow falling surely and steadily across our high desert home

the sun breaking through

the land transformed

and the unexpected rainbow right here where we stand.

Thank you snow, thank you sun, thank you, my little fashionista.

Thank you, friends, for sharing the journey.

Have a lovely, snowed in weekend!

Today

The girl at my side, the bread rising on the table.

The day bright and fresh and calling me to explore it.

See you out there.

::

“Don’t ask what the world need. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it.

Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

–Howard Thurman

Plastic-free Homesteading

(Feeling pretty capable back in September. Oh, to be young and innocent again.)

A while back a friend asked me how the plastic-free homesteading was going and I said, “Great, between the dismal failures.” Yup, sometimes the pressure cooker stew burns or the bread comes out dense (or mutant, see picture) or the goat milk yogurt does whatever it does that doesn’t involve thickening. Maybe you are already thinking that none of these are failures – they are the signs of a fearless housewife embarking into an unknown country (the Olden Days, remember) and learning much along the way.

That’s right, I am. After a few months of figuring things out as I go, of occasionally melting down and wailing “this is supposed to make me happy,” of serving dal all week for dinner because I just couldn’t think what else to make (I know some of you do that on purpose, but gee whiz, enough’s enough), and of somehow persevering anyways because I made a vow but also because I had a hunch that less waste really could equal more joy, things are looking up.

These days, my bread is coming out positively artisanal thanks to the fabulous and foolproof no-knead method. My dinners are a triumph of creative simplicity (right, honey?). I’m saving the goat milk for cheese making, and using cow milk for the yogurt  because it’s tear proof (and cheap and comes in returnable glass bottles). All of this makes it a lot easier to have warm fuzzy feelings about “doing the right thing.” Which every day becomes less and less novel, and more and more just the way we live.

I know, I know, it looks like I’ve got things under control. But not to worry. I’m sure I’ll burn the soup again soon.

Rolling Rotis

I’ve been making tortillas/chapatis pretty regularly these days. More than anything else I cook, this recipe seems to fill my kitchen with helpful, if opinionated, spirits.

Here is what they say:

Mix flour, salt. Plenty of water makes for easy rolling.

A palmful of dough between the hands. Move it in slow circles.

I don’t know why, only that this is the way.

Reminds you of what a circle feels like

between two flour-dusted hands, maybe.

Activates gluten, maybe.

Ah, see. And you thought you knew what a circle was.

No matter. Good enough.

Lay them like chickadees in a neat row, covered with a cloth.

Or make your balls quick one at a time, rolling it out just seconds before laying it on the hot pan.

Careful of fingers on the skillet!

No. No spatulas. Are you a woman or a mouse?

Better to cook them too little than too much.

Keeps them soft, that’s why. I know they’re a bit raw. What do you want, a cracker?

When you flip it, take that dishcloth and push down on the tortillas.

Push! I thought you’d given birth, but this is how you push?

Makes the tortilla light, and airy. Airier, at least.

Simple. Salt, flour, water. Round ball, rolled ball. Hot skillet. Flip. Push! Done.

Two Songs and a Poem from Haiti

The aftershocks of death and collapse in Port-au-Prince have filled our hearts with the heaviness of what Haitian writer Edwidge Danticat calls the “layers of tragedy” – political and natural – that blanket the country. By now we have taken in the images of a grief stricken and devastated nation. We have heard about Haiti’s poverty and, hopefully, its history of exploitation by colonial powers (the root of that poverty).

I want to add to this outpouring some offerings of the life and vibrance of Haiti. Let our prayers be filled with the beauty Haiti has given the world from its “empty” coffers.

This song is ever so lovely, and this one conveys a bit of the Haitian experyans.

This poem is by the Haitian writer, Felix Morisseau-Leroy. Women’s Voices for Change writes, “read now, the poem stands as a caution to those who might try to generalize about those whose lives have been upended by the earthquake.”

Boat People

We are all in a drowning boat
Happened before at St. Domingue
We are the ones called boat people

We all died long ago
What else can frighten us
?
Let them call us boat people

We fight a long time with poverty
On our islands, the sea, everywhere
We never say we are not boat people

In Africa they chased us with dogs
Chained our feet, piled us on
Who then called us boat people?

Half the cargo perished
The rest sold at Bossal Market
It’s them who call us boat people

We stamp our feet down, the earth shakes
Up to Louisiana, down to Venezuela
Who would come and call us boat people?

A bad season in our country
The hungry dog eats thorns
They didn’t call us boat people yet

We looked for jobs and freedom
And they piled us on again: Cargo—Direct to Miami
They start to call us boat people

We run from the rain at Fort Dimanche
But land in the river at the Krome
Detention Center
It’s them who call us boat people

Miami heat eats away our hearts
Chicago cold explodes our stomach
Boat people boat people boat people

Except for the Indians—
What American didn’t get here somehow
But they only want to call us boat people

We don’t bring drugs in our bags
But courage and strength to work
Boat people—Yes, that’s all right, boat people

We don’t come to make trouble
We come with all respect
It’s them who call us boat people

We have no need to yell or scream
But all boat people are equal, the same
All boat people are boat people

One day we’ll stand up, put down our feet
As we did at St. Domingue
They’ll know who these boat people really are

That day, be it Christopher Columbus
Or Henry Kissinger—
They will know
us
We who simply call ourselves
People

::

Still with me? Feeling political? Check out this list of

ten things the U.S. can and should do for Haiti.

And Thank You Dr. Martin Luther King! May we ever and always strive to fulfill your vision.

Evening Walk

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We take the slow route up the ridge

through the sparse clumps of dried grass, over rocks rouged by twilight.

At the top, instead of continuing on, looping down and around

in constant motion as if this were the only way

to ensure the next moment’s arrival,

we pause.

Stillness so seldom left to ripen on its branch

and fall of its own free will.

We sit on the bare spine of earth,

coyotes singing yip yi yi yi yiiii

as the horizon rises towards night.

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Recipe for Mid-Winter Tea

Mix what you have, what warms your spirit,

what feels true to the season.

I had:

Rosehips

Elderberries

Orange peel

Cinnamon

Calendula flowers

Pine needles

Mmmm.

A Proper Tea is much nicer than a Very Nearly Tea, which is one you forget about afterwards.  ~A.A. Milne

Live and Learn

Our experiment in living without new plastic has been going swimmingly,

but what would it be without a few lessons along the way?

Such as, don’t assume ones favorite restaurant has eco friendly to-go-ware.

I felt sick bringing home all this styrofoam with leftovers from a rare dinner out. Ever practical and searching for meaning, I looked for the lesson in the disaster. Apparently this week’s take home message is something along the lines of Always Be Prepared. Or maybe it’s to get out of the house more often.

I’ve trained myself to always have canvas bags filled with an assortment of small muslin sacks, a couple jars, and a plastic squeeze bottle at the ready in the back of the Suby when I’m out and about. To that stash I’ve added a tiffin for situations like the one above. For good measure my purse now houses a set of silverware wrapped in a napkin. Some folks even carry a glass drinking straw, but I can’t imagine what would happen if my Favorite Pickpocket got ahold of that. Oh, and if you’re in the market for a new one, a mason jar with a sock cozy makes a splendid travel mug.

Our ways are changing, slowly but surely, and it’s encouraging to see the new ways taking hold. The experience of accepting food in styrofoam felt like a threshold moment, right on the brink between who we’ve been and who we are becoming. My hope is that it never happens again, but in the meantime it offered a reminder that lest we get too smug about our good deeds, there are many more habits from a lifetime of careless complacency waiting to be cracked open and remade.

Whoa

So here’s what I’ve been wondering:

If I’ve always taken for granted

that disposable plastic is necessary for life

and am now discovering that this isn’t the case at all,

what else have I believed

that isn’t true?